One of the things they're always saying on the New Life Ministries radio program is "We don't want to make you feel good. We want to make you feel bad... bad enough to go out and do something to change your situation."
I have found some truth to this. We don't generally make big personal changes because we're feeling wonderful. In fact, most of us - certainly me - will bend over backwards and go to a lot of trouble to avoid changing, unless the status quo becomes really intolerable.
The flip side of this is that making big changes is never going to make us feel good - at least, not right away. The first reaction we're going to have when we make a change is discomfort.
One thing people will often say when they're frustrated with an ongoing problem is "I've tried everything!" Speaking for myself, what that usually means is that I've tried everything that's in my comfort zone. I've tried all the ways I usually try to cope with problems. The catch is, if it's an ongoing problem, it's probably caused in part by my habitual ways of coping, and the solution is just about guaranteed to lie somewhere outside my comfort zone.
Despite many promptings from the Spirit, I had a lot of resistance to the idea of going to a 12-step group. The objection that was most often on my mind was that I didn't want to be tied to another scheduled activity - another weekly errand - in an already overscheduled week. I think, looking back, this was mostly just a kind of opposition to going outside my comfort zone. I didn't want to turn my time over to Overeaters Anonymous any more than I wanted to turn my will over to God, or turn my feelings and problems over to a group of strangers.
I think, in the future, I should bear this in mind. When there's a solution to a problem that I'm feeling resistant to - a solution that I really, really don't want to think about - that's probably the one that's going to help me most.
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2 comments:
Thank you for your blog. I have run the diet trail, exercise and over-exercise trail, ww trail and the 12-step trail. It is still a struggle. I am currently out of my comfort zone by running on my treadmill in the am.
I verbalized a goal (almost on accident) a little over a month ago that I would work out 42 times by the end of the year (14 wks X 3 workouts per week). I have worked out 28 times to date including this morning...excellent, right? Yes, but no weight loss yet. I ran 3 miles Monday.
The problem...my eating is out of control. I eat inappropriately at least once a week, usually on weekends. Sometimes for a number of days...sometimes it includes sugar...sometimes overeating healthy or neutral foods.
I am currently hopped up on halloween candy. I prayed, went to a meeting today, resisted yesterday, and talked about it today. But I am stil in the ditch. I didn't want to write that part for fear that my writing would not be taken seriously, but that wouldn't be honst, would it?
I rescheduled a therapy meeting a few minutes ago and didn't tell my therapist I was jacked up. Why not? That is the person I am supposed to be able to tell anything.
I am going to committ to talk to God about all of this.
Have a great day!
Bob
Bob, thank you so much for visiting John 6:35 and sharing your thoughts here.
I can totally identify with feeling like I'm in the ditch. I was in the ditch for a couple of years, and only in the last couple of weeks starting to feel like I'm getting out of it. When I was in the ditch I did exercise fairly regularly (although not as much as I have been last few weeks), and I probably followed my eating plan on 8 out of 10 days. What I did on those two days "off the plan" was enough to keep me in the ditch. It sure wasn't a nice place to be. I was working enough to feel like I was trying, but falling short enough to make me feel like a total failure.
I don't have any brilliant advice for how to get out, other than to say there is a way out. I like your idea of talking to God about it. My prayer for you would be that you would feel his grace and love for you.
I also like the idea of sharing with your counselor. Maybe keeping this from your counselor is a "comfort zone" outside of which things will be different for you.
God bless you Bob. Take care and stay in touch.
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